Dependence on What

It has been difficult for me to understand the need and dependence the characters have for one another, especially in relation to Beloved. Why is there this idea that to be complete, one has to rely on someone else? In reading Beloved, I find myself continually getting frustrated with the characters due to their lack of independence. Whether it is Denver, trying to obtain affection and worth in the eyes of Beloved or Beloved, never truly feeling whole unless Sethe is around, no healing from the past can never take place for any of them.

The all too real experience of life for many of the characters has left a lasting impression. Beatings, rape, killing and jail are not events that they can claim have not affected them. Traumatic experiences happen in life, but it is how we grow from those experiences that allow us to live. In not dealing with these experiences, we find that the repression of the feelings manifest themselves in other ways. Maybe that is exactly what the character of Beloved is, a way of trying to get Sethe to deal with the life choices she has made. However, Sethe still cannot face what she did which ends up affect the lives of those around her. As Baby Sugg says, “the only grace they could have was the grace they could imagine (103).” If you cannot believe you deserve grace, then you will not have it.

“You got to love it…Flesh that needs to be loved (104).” This line was one of my favorites that I read in Beloved. I have always heard that you have to love yourself before you can love others. It always seems easier to love others but we cannot know what true love is unless we find it in ourselves first. I wish that Sethe and Paul D would realize this instead of trying to shut themselves away for no one to see. Beloved’s opening of the Tin heart box of Paul D is a way to show him that he cannot shy away from what has happened to him. He needs to face it and grow from it. I would hope that maybe the second part of the book alleviates my frustration with the characters unwillingness to coupe with the losses of their lives.