The Importance of Motherhood (Leanne Naramore and Rebekah Pykosh: Lead Paper)

Valerie Saiving’s discussion of the human situation from a feminine point of view sheds light on what she calls the “most important role in the formation of masculine and feminine character”: motherhood. When a child is an infant, he or she identifies himself or herself with the mother. The mother is the child’s primary source of nourishment, belonging, and nurture. A female infant does not feel the need to differentiate herself from her mother, for all she has to do is “wait to realize her full femininity.” Male infants, however, realize that they must separate themselves from their mothers and set out on a quest to find their masculinity. Saiving explains the ease with which females attain their femininity versus the difficulty that males face in ‘becoming men’ as the child grows. Femininity is “punctuated and authenticated by a series of definite, natural, and irreversible bodily occurrences: first menstruation, defloration, child birth, menopause.” Masculinity, however, is a “challenge which he must meet, a proof he must furnish by means of performance, achievement, and activity directed toward the external world.” Because females experience femininity when it happens to them, motherhood comes much more naturally than fatherhood. We hear more about the ‘maternal instinct’ than we do the paternal. When a female becomes a mother (there are exceptions, but we are speaking generally here), her view of her role in the world changes. According to Saiving, she tends to sin in ways in which men do not: triviality, dependence on others for self-definition, gossipy sociability, etc. This is proof that motherhood molds the mother’s view of the human condition and of her role in the world. Theologians must incorporate the experience of motherhood in their assessment of the human condition. Although motherhood does bring a fuller understanding of the human condition, danger arises when society solely focuses on women’s procreative abilities.

Saiving is right when she writes that parenthood defines the mother much more than it defines the father. Mothers tend to give themselves to the children, offering unconditional love, support, and nurturing. This is not to say that men do not offer those things, but mothers often have a much higher capacity to “surrender [their] individual concerns in order to serve the immediate needs of others—a quality which is so essential to the maternal role.” Mothers tend to find fulfillment in motherhood. Saiving writes, “even those men who enjoy being fathers most fully can scarcely be imagined as finding complete self-fulfillment in fatherhood.” Men often focus on challenges and tasks to find their self-definition; these challenges may include succeeding in the workforce, earning a leadership role of some sort, or excelling intellectually. This is not to say that women can and do not also succeed in the workforce, hold leadership positions, and excel academically, but motherhood often brings an element of fulfillment at a level that fathers rarely reach.

A description of the human condition needs to be constructed which adequately assesses the experiences of both males and females, of both fathers and mothers. According to Valerie Saiving, many contemporary theologians describe the human experience as characterized by anxiety and the need to achieve wholeness. Today’s view of the human condition is problematic for both men and women because it is based upon the masculine experience. This description of the human condition and sin takes into account the masculine experience since males, according to Valerie Saiving, are driven by an anxiety and need for achievement to prove their manhood and complete their identity. Females are not driven by a need to achieve since they receive their identity from infancy by the fact they will someday be mothers as well as have routine experiences during their lifetime, which affirm their identity, such as menstruation, childbearing, and menopause. If contemporary theologians take into account the female experience, their description would have to focus more on what is already pre-determined for humans instead of what humans can change for themselves about their condition. This would mean that the emphasis on human freedom might need to be reassessed since this belief asserts an idea that is based on a more masculine experience: humans can either achieve holiness by completely choosing their actions or can choose to remain in their imperfect state. Looking at this belief through a female experience would mean to emphasize the circumstances already in place for humans that affect their situation as well as focus on community and relationships.

Motherhood gives women a unique experience that affects their view of the human condition, but problems arise when only their procreative abilities are emphasized in society. Ada Maria Isasi-Diaz declares that “the fact procreation is given such a high value is related to the fact that other aspects of sexuality are denied to us.” When women are not free to embrace every aspect of their sexuality such as the “pleasure, communication, and affection” and must focus only on their ability to bear children apart from these other aspects, women cannot be whole. Not only do women feel incomplete when their sexuality is “restricted and negated”, but when only their childbearing abilities are acknowledged as important in society, objectification and violence arise. When women are objectified, this opens doors for domestic abuse and rape as well as increases low self-esteem among women. In order to have a balance, women and society must honor the life-giving ability women have but must also allow women to enjoy and express their sexuality in full and not just as valuable because of procreation.
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